Tag Archives: humour

How Do You Spell Daffodil?

How Do You Spell Daffodil?

small-daffodil

Just had to record a lovely 10 minutes spent laughing like a loon with my daughter.

Darlek: ‘Mum, how do you spell Daffodil?’

Feeling bored of being asked questions, I replied ‘F…..L…..O……G’

Darlek dutifully tries to fit the letters  ‘FLOG’ into her crossword.

She looks at me in disbelief and says ‘Flog? I can’t believe I just copied that out.’

Both of us collapse into giggles.

I tell her they’re actually called ‘Daffadilaflogs’ and struggle to keep a straight face.

Darlek grins at me and replies ‘Mum, don’t be an idiot’

I then inform her that a ‘Daffodilaflog is kind of like a dinosaur, similar to a Diplodocus.’

In my mind I have visions of a very camp dinosaur waltzing through a field of daffodils.

At this point Darlek realises she’s not going to get any sense out of her mum and proceeds to lie on the sofa upside down with her head hanging over the edge, and giggles loads.  I join in and it’s all very silly, but much more interesting than just spelling Daffodil properly.

Only a snippet of a moment in time, and a pointless one at that, but it was fun.  Happiness happens at the funniest of times.  Daffodil can also be spelt ‘Daffodilosilly’.  You learn something new every day.

 

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Housework and a bit of Unique Interior Design

Housework and a bit of Unique Interior Design

(Sorry for swearing, ‘Housework’ is not always a word that people take kindly to)

I pride myself on my housekeeping and interior design skills.  I’m ace at it.  In fact, I’m so good at it, I  feel I should share my expertise with you…..so you too can be as accomplished as I am.

Tip Number 1:

I recommend keeping a fully stocked bookcase next to the bathroom.  That way you'll never be short of something to read, even if that does mean the ocassional dash with your pants around your ankles.

I recommend keeping a fully stocked bookcase next to the bathroom. That way you’ll never be short of something to read, even if that does mean the occasional foray onto the landing with your jeans around your ankles.

This is a great interior design idea because it also means that you have to walk slightly sideways at the top of the stairs in order to pass the bookcase without knocking books onto the floor, causing a ‘Bookalanche.’  Bookalanches should be avoided, especially if they involve large hardback slippery books.  Small paperbacks are not as dangerous, although are still to be treated with caution.  Either type can cause you to fall head first down lots of stairs.  *Slippery-slip…Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy ….’OW!’*

Tip Number 2:

This is my jewellery box, I like to keep everything together in one place so I know exactly where to find things.  No separate drawers or boxes here!

This is my jewellery box, I like to keep everything together in one place so I know exactly where to find things. No separate drawers or boxes here!

‘Everything in it’s place!’ as my grandma used to say.  Well, this is the place I keep my jewellery.  I can instantly find whatever I want to wear which is really good. Then again, I can very rarely disentangle whatever it is I want to wear, so perhaps this isn’t actually all that good after all.  Hmm….  Dear potential burglars, this is all worth about £2 and is mostly home-made and charity shop fodder.  Just sayin’

Some of my beads and bracelets have ended up on the floor, not because I’ve put them there though.  They just like it there I think.  As long as I use the vacuum cleaner carefully and don’t disturb them it’s all fine.

Tip Number 3:

Cardboard boxes with old consoles in make wonderful mountain climbing ranges for cats.  Kitties love sitting on very fragile 15 year old consoles.

Cardboard boxes with old consoles in make wonderful mountain climbing ranges for cats. Kitties love sitting on very fragile 15 year old consoles.  They particularly love clawing boxes that have been lovingly preserved by anally retentive husbands who think that they’ll ‘be worth a fortune one day.’

Most people look on cardboard boxes as temporary things, the sort of thing you use when you move house and then chuck out afterwards.  Not us!  My mum used to be a school dinner lady, so we have inherited frozen chip boxes which are mega strong and useful.  My sister used to work in a factory that made biscuits and cakes, so we probably have a few labelled ‘Cake’ too.  These boxes are good and strong and will last for years, so why shouldn’t we have at least 5 of them in our bedroom?  When the ceiling lights aren’t on at night, and we can’t see very well, they’re fabulous for falling over.  Now that’s practical interior design for you!  Don’t throw away boxes!  Just work around them. Like forever.

Tip Number 4:

Keep clutter to a maximum.

Keep clutter to a maximum.

You’ve heard the phrase ‘Tidy house, tidy mind!’   Well, I can go one better.  ‘Cluttered house, cluttered-interesting-but-full-of-really-rather-random things…mind!’  That’d be my house/me.  Oh and dusting is pointless, if you dust it just all floats up into the air and then settles again.  Besides, I like writing in it.

Tip Number 5:

You don't need paint or wallpaper if you just cover a wall with shelves full of stuff.

You don’t need paint or wallpaper if you just cover a wall with shelves full of stuff

We like playing Tetris with things, you should try it.  Really.  Just wear proper shoes if you have a full on game because when stuff falls off the shelf it tends to be heavy and hurt your toes if you’re not wearing shoes.  I know this from experience.

Tip Number 6:

IMG_0096

Pile things on your kitchen sides, lots of things, of different shapes and sizes. Just because you can.

Beware of piling things on top of the microwave though, I was once told that it can cause it to blow up.  This interior design style, otherwise known as ‘teetering’ is perfect for really narrow kitchens.  It stops our cat jumping on the sides too, because there are no sides to jump on to.  Clever eh!

We are interior design geniussess, I’m sure you’ll agree.

(This is a sponsored post and this is actually my home.  If there is such an organisation as the ‘House Police,’ I think we may be arrested shortly.)

Beware of Blank Envelopes

Beware of Blank Envelopes

Last week I mucked up, Darlek came out of school sobbing her little heart out.

She told me in the morning ‘Mum I have swimming lessons today, but my swimming costume is too small’ – this was at about 8.30am.  I hurriedly dug out a tenner, shoved it in a blank envelope labelled it ‘For Swimming Costume’ and told her to buy one from the sports centre when she got there.  Last time she wore the costume it was cutting into her shoulders so I figured I couldn’t just ask her to put up with it.

It turned out that swimming costumes were £17.50 so she didn’t have enough and she was the only one out of her class who couldn’t go swimming.  Darlek told me she just sat on the side crying watching them all.  I felt like crap when she told me.   I suppose we can’t be perfect all of the time, but I did really let her down….in more ways than one it turns out.  I apologised to Darlek for being rubbish and promised to try harder.

The tenner was returned to me in a small envelope with a note saying that Darlek hadn’t got enough for a swimming costume which was fair enough.  But, they also sent back the original envelope with my ‘For Swimming Costume’ note on.  On it the teacher had written ‘This hair was found inside the envelope with Darlek’s money?’ which made absolutely no sense at all, until I looked inside it.

IMG_4697

I’d sent Darlek into her swimming lesson with an insufficient amount of money and a load of hair in an envelope.  Only then did I remember that when I cut Sausage’s hair for the very first time, I’d put it safely in an unmarked envelope which had then been put with my other stationary because I’m an idiot.  In the rush I’d not checked what was in there.  Consequently I now look like I’ve tried to pay for Darlek’s swimming costume with a tenner and blonde tangled human hair.  Normal people try to make up the difference with spare change lying around the house, not me.  I suspect Mrs W now thinks Darlek’s mum is absolutely insane.

Darlek’s teacher will no doubt check any envelopes sent from our house for toe-nail clippings and other such loveliness from now on.  I mean, human hair for starters, what’s next?  I feel, as they say, a complete tit and will have to explain myself the next time I go into school.

Mind you, I once received a letter from school asking me to bring in ‘Willies’ instead of ‘Wellies’ so they must be fairly used to finding odd things in jiffy bags and envelopes sent in by parents?

Humour – It’s a Funny Old Thing

Humour – It’s  a Funny Old Thing

Someone recently told me that my blogs make them laugh and I was very flattered.  So much so that I think I actually blushed.  I mean, it’s a complement isn’t it.  See, I’m doing it now….*blushes*  They even asked me if I’d write about how to make people laugh.  In a nutshell, I have no idea so I guess this post will be a short one.

It’s not something I do consciously, I think I’m probably just a little bit crackers in the way that I view the world.  Let me put it this way, when you were a kid, did you ever lie on the sofa with your feet on the headrest, your bum precariously balanced on the cushions with your head and arms dangling upside down  where your legs would normally be?  I remember doing that with my sister next to me when we were about five years old; we’d laugh as the blood ran to our heads and we’d cackle about how different the room looked upside down. That’s humour for me, tipping the world upside down and just looking at it from a different angle.

A cake iced in bright yellow with a piece cut out of it could be just a cake with a piece cut out of it, or it could look like a Pacman (old 80’s arcade game).  Personally I  just stare at things from different viewpoints and these things just occur to me.  Nothing is straightforward, everything has hidden nuances if you just pause for a millisecond and think about them.  (I did actually nick the Pacman illustration from a friend so I’m not claiming that as my own by the way.  I’m adding that so they don’t sue me for being an arse and nicking their observation.)

Then it’s a case of taking things to an extreme.  If the cake is a Pacman, who is going to eat who?  Pacmen are notoriously hungry so if you go to take a bite, will you lose your nose?  Will it bite back?  Then you escalate the ordinary into the realms of the ridiculous.  It paints a picture in someone’s mind of a cake eating the eater, which is just silly.  And silly is funny right?  Or am I wrong?   You tell me.  Think of those conversations in the pub after a few too many drinks that go from an ordinary conversation about the weather and it raining all the bl**dy time, to hysterics after someone claims they found a goldfish in their wellyboot after the last school run.  Something like that.  You just take what is normal and add a bite of unrealism.   That was ‘bite’ by the way, it wasn’t a typo of the word ‘bit.  I’m just still on with the Pacman theme you see.

I suppose I amuse myself by looking at the world by adding back stories to things too.  I am, after all, just a mid 30’s homemaker with two kids who lives at the top of a hill.  Life isn’t all excitement and cocktail parties.  I think about things, about how they could be, about how they might have been, about if something happened, if it didn’t happen.  Maybe it’s because I’m naturally fairly imaginative (or cracked as I mentioned earlier).  So, if Sausage claims there’s dinosaurs roaming the house at 3am, I begin to think of the practicalities of this actually happening.  Would they raid the fridge?  How would they get in?  Surely a T-Rex with its little arms would struggle to reach the handle and would end up headbutting the sideboard?  The Diplodocus might try to run himself a bath and get annoyed because he couldn’t get the tops off the shampoo bottles.  That sort of thing.

Then there’s the imaginary life of inanimate objects.  I think I give things character traits without really thinking about it.  When Homebase installed a truly crap kitchen, the dishwasher became my arch enemy.  It beeped at me whenever I tried to get it to work so I decided it was swearing at me, but had a self-censorship thing going on. I think that’s called personification.  Again, you just look at things from a slightly skewed viewpoint and just run with it.

To continue on with the ‘what if’ train of thought….cat’s don’t talk do they.  But ‘what if’ they did?  LOLCats is a great example of this phenomenon (and that’s a big word for a Friday night after a can of Stella).  I believe this is anthropomorphism and let me tell you I copied and pasted that word because I cannot/will not attempt to spell it right now.

kitteh

You just look at things and wonder if the world was a bit different and cats did talk, would they say these things?  When I had a home birth and our cat paced up and down the sofa miaowing at me whilst I yelled, cursed and generally kicked up a fuss I do half believe he was saying in his cattish language ‘What the hell is going on here?  Someone get her a cup of tea and she might shurrup.’

And then there’s making the most of mistakes, in the written world typos are an absolute mine of inspiration.  For example, I just bobbed onto Twitter, my second home and and accidentally said I was writing a ‘bog’ post.  This led to someone admitting they’d once written about firing ‘gnu’s’ instead of ‘guns’.  Now firing guns isn’t very amusing at all, but …… firing gnu’s is another matter entirely.  I genuinely would pay good money to see someone firing a gnu.  What would they fire if this was a possibility?  Would you squeeze them like a tube of toothpaste and would they fire tiny poo pellets?  How exactly would that work?

Using the unexpected cue from the typo, you make something that is normal, very, very abnormal.  Troops simply don’t attack each other with loaded gnus.  Well maybe not in this universe anyway.   You’re painting a daft picture in someone’s head.  It’s a visual joke in strange kind of way.  You use your words to illustrate something that could never, ever happen in real life.  But if it did happen, it’d be something to tell your mates about at the pub.

I think I’ve probably written enough, I suppose I should stop writing and go have an argument with the dishwasher.  If it swears/beeps at me one more time I might just threaten it with a loaded gnu.

To summarise – that’s how I see the world and how I make life more interesting for myself.  If it makes you laugh too then all the better.  If we all smiled a bit and looked at the lighter side of things the world would be a happier place.  It works for me. :O)

Whistling in the Dark.

Whistling in the Dark

I struggled for ages to come up with a title for this blog post, nothing seemed quite appropriate apart from this one.  I’ll leave you to make the link, it does make perfect sense if you think about it for a while.  Life can be dark, but we can always whistle. 

Every now and then I write a blog post for the Babyhuddle blog, I’m an ‘Elite Blogger’ for them you see. That makes it sound like I fly jet fighter planes for them or something doesn’t it.  *giggles*

Anyway, I wrote a blog post about humour and about how important it is to teach our children to laugh, at jokes, at adversity and just in general – simply because humour can often be our solace and our strength when times are tough, the social glue that holds friendships together and it’s just downright fun.

Call me ‘up my own arse’ but I think it’s a cracker and I’d love you to read it.  I’m not particularly proud of most of the things I write, but this is one post I’m very happy with. Please do drop by and see what you think!

Here’s the link!  It’ll take you to the Babyhuddle site where it’s posted HERE.  It’s called ‘You Gotta Laugh!’

It seemed rather an appropriate topic in a completely back to front way.  This weekend my grandma who is 94 had three small heart attacks and landed herself in intensive care, where she had another heart attack.  The nursing staff and the consultant all thought that she was going to leave us at 3am on Saturday night and funeral arrangements were discussed – it really was that serious.

The whole family has been through hell and back, we’re still taking things hour by hour.  Every time the phone rings we all jump, it’s just horrific. This evening my auntie, uncle and I went to visit her.  She lay in bed, wired up to massive banks of computers with flashing lights and bells that went off every now and then – she still has her old smile and her laugh, but she’s lost and wandering in her head quite a lot.  We’re all hoping and praying to whatever we hold dearest, that she’ll come back to us – but we’re not overly optimistic.

I’m not saying we sit and laugh at the situation, because you just can’t, it’s too terrible to comprehend – but humour and general chit chat oiled the conversation a little, even in such an awful setting. I mentioned that it was a good job the kids hadn’t come along because they’d be pulling out wires and thinking all the computers wired up to her were some sort of huge computer game.  My auntie said that she’d spent hours and hours on the phone to all of Gran’s friends letting them know where she was and joked that she was taking on Gran’s role very well in her absence.  My sister had sent in a scratch card with Gran’s birthday card, as she’d had so little luck recently, she said that she deserved some and maybe a scratchcard would do the trick.  Unfortunately Gran didn’t win the lottery or a vast amount of cash whilst stuck in Intensive Care, but it was fun trying.

If you didn’t laugh, you’d just have to sit there and cry.  The occasional silences were deafening, or at least I thought they were. I’m not very good in situations like that and it is so hard to know what to say whilst faced with someone you love in so much pain and in such a terrible situation.  But what can you do apart from make small talk about the kids bouncing off the walls at home and joke about how Gran needs a dedicated nurse, just to keep all her birthday cards from falling off the walls next to her bed?  I don’t know.  I still don’t.  I suspect I babbled when I tried.  We all just wanted her to feel loved and that we were there for her, it was so lovely to see her smile when we managed to engage her in a conversation and especially to see her laugh (inbetween coughing fits).

Poor love, old age is very, very cruel.  If I could lend Gran my heart for a day or two I would – if I could swap legs with her so she could walk for a while – I would.  Her kidneys are suffering too at the moment, so if she could borrow my bladder, I’d happily hand it over for a bit.  I just wish I could help!  She is having the toughest time ever, and all any of us can do for her is sit, wait and hope.

The one thing that gives me a little hope is that she is still as stroppy as ever, I’ve heard my mum doing impressions of her which made me laugh:

*you have to read this with a voice like the queen*

‘Excuse me!  I need to have my eye drops at 8am, it is now 8.05am, will you be doing them soon?’

Yesterday when I rang the ward for an update the nurse said:

‘She’s awake, drinking tea and bossing the staff around so she’s not doing too badly.’  They asked my mum if Gran used to be a teacher (she wasn’t) because of her tone.

My mum and I both chuckled at this, we’re both accustomed to Gran’s ways and this is so typical of her.   This evening she was drowsy, confused at times and yet occasionally her old self.  All I can say is that I hope we hear more funny tales about her being strong willed and obstreperous – that way we’ll know she’s winning the battle.  Sadly I don’t think we will, but we’ll have to see.

A proper bit of writing apparently has to have a summary, I’m struggling here.   I guess Monty Python got it right when they sang ‘Always Look on The Bright Side of Life’ which as you’ll know if you read this blog, is one of my favourite songs.  Please forgive the recap, I know I only posted this the other day.

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you’re chewing on life’s gristle
Don’t grumble, give a whistle
And this’ll help things turn out for the best…

I doubt Gran would approve of this song, I’m not sure she’d whistle along either – but as her loving relatives, there’s nothing else we can do right now, apart from to sit here twiddling our thumbs and well…whistling.  It’s certainly all I can do, which is endlessly frustrating.

If anyone has a crystal ball they could lend us, we’d really appreciate it.  The next few hours/weeks are quietly scaring the hell out of all of us.  Please think of my lovely, funny, caring, warm, wonderful Gran as she lies in her hospital bed fighting for her life and wish her well.  Can’t do any harm can it. Thank you. x

‘Always Look On The Bright Side of Life!’

‘Always Look On The

Bright Side of Life!’

Today this seems rather appropriate, and I’d love you to sing along with me and the old Monty Python crew.  (a little swearing here if you’re sensitive by the way)

This morning I jumped out of bed, found a clean pair of jeans, ironed my shirt, fed the kids, whirled around like a crazy woman and prepared for my second day in the office.  I had to explain to Sausage about ‘irons’ as he’d never seen one before, yep, I’m that bad.  Anyway, the phone rang……

It was my new employer explaining that I wasn’t actually what they were looking for after all, and not to bother coming in.  Joy.  I sat at the top of the stairs staring at the phone with tears running down my cheeks.  Basically they needed someone who could write really, really fast about roasting pigs (it’s a catering sort of firm), sounds ridiculous when I put it like that.  My speciality isn’t roasting pigs, and it’s not writing ‘fast’ either so they’d decided to cut their losses.  To be honest, finding ‘nice’ pictures of roasting pigs to go with their blogs was making me feel like becoming a vegetarian anyway, so it was probably for the best.

Never in my life have I been so excited about a job.  Never before have I told so many people and never before have I made so many plans in my head because of a job.  Consequently I’ve made a bit of a tit of myself.  Well, never mind.  I’m still here, there’s no loss really.  In a way I wish they’d given me more of a chance and yet I’m almost glad they didn’t.  I wasn’t really inspired by endless blog posts about pigs on sticks.  Hey ho.

I dealt very well with the rejection I have to say!  I went back to bed for an hour and half just because I could.  After dreaming about a very small underground house populated with pub singers and going on a long car journey with cartoon characters I went onto Stage 2 of the ‘Coping Strategy.’ This involved sitting in front of the TV, eating packets of crisps and sulking at an empty room, which is a great coping mechanism if you’re into into putting on weight and filling your brain with crap.  In addition to this I’ve completely ignored all housework just ‘because.’

Now the kids are in bed I’m into Stage 3 of my coping strategy, I’m trawling You Tube for as many versions of ‘Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life’ as I can find.  I’m whistling in the right places and singing all the words tunelessly and with feeling.  I feel better.

So, if you want a social media kind of person to promote your business, to tweet inane but enthusiastic  tweets, to update your Facebook pages, to blog about anything other than pork and charred pigs on pointy sticks, etc, etc – I’m still here!

I think the worst bit is that I defrosted some meat last night for tonight’s tea.  This went in the slow cooker and now the entire house smells of slow cooked pig, which would normally smell delicious.  The main problem is that now it just adds insult to injury and the stench is offending my nose terribly.  Tomorrow we’ll be having a vegetarian dish of some sort,  cauliflower cheese or summat, with absolutely no dead animals in it.

Right, I’m off to feel optimistic despite all the odds.  *determined face*

‘Always look on the bright side of life! De-dum de-dum de-dum-de-dum!’

…………………..*please whistle along*…………………….  Thank you. x

The Penguin Amnesty Gallery!

SWAN inspirational blog post award

The Penguin Amnesty Gallery!

*If you want to know what this is about please read my previous post! It explains everything, well nearly everything….Click here to read ‘I’m Having a Penguin Amnesty!’ 

Well, my penguin plans are progressing perfectly!  I’ve already had quite a few penguins promised and once they arrive, they will be presented to the planet on this post in aid of the Post Pals charity!

This little fella was my very first penguin volunteer. Sis sent him over to our house so I could make him a Penguin Star on the blog! Here he is sat on the beach, sunning himself. Ever heard the joke ‘What’s black and white and red all over?’

A number of companies and individuals have offered to help out with penguins and penguin related items that the Post Pal children will love!  I’m hoping there’ll be others to add to the list very soon.  If you’re on Twitter, keep your eyes out for the #PenguinAmnesty hashtag to see how the campaign progresses and to see if you can help!

Spot the grumpy penguin! This penguin will soon be a lot happier because GaltToys have donated this set to the Penguin Amnesty for poorly kids.  I’m sure it will be very content in its new home!

Now, this is a funny looking penguin I can hear you thinking…..I can explain! BalloonBaboon are going to send a Penguin for the vlog, and also to a Post Pals child. Balloons by their very nature do deflate, so their penguin won’t be arriving until nearer the date. They obviously need a mention now though as they have so kindly offered their services – this frog is fantastic and gives an example of the talent and time that goes into this sort of balloon art sculpture. Love it!

Vita (@Goriami) from The Goriami Family blog sent ‘Quiver’ the Blue Nose Penguin over to make friends with the other penguins we have here.  He is very, very cute and loves jumping over waves as you can see here.  Thanks so much for your donation, he will make a poorly child very happy!

…..and jump…..and SPLASH!!!!

Peter the Penguin! Although he is adorable, he does keep drinking from the tap! Tristan and Martine, did you not teach him any manners!!! ;O)

This next penguin is called ‘Paulie’ and he was sent here by Audreys Cat Vintage Fabrics.   Audrey, he’s gorgeous, but he’s rather bossy!  Here he is on the school run in Sis’s car.  I told him we knew the way and that we didn’t need a Penguin Sat Nav, but he just ignored us and sqwarked directions anyway.

‘Turn left I say! Left!!!!! Not that way………Turn around when possible, I saw a fish, we have to go back for it……I’m hungry….I don’t care if you’re late! Turn around NOW!’

Squeaky, Beaky, Flipper and Splash were donated by my mum and dad!  I thought that they’d be better behaved than the others until I found them in my kitchen cupboard trying to get into the tins of tuna! Tut-tut!

The Penguin iPhone 4G covers were sent by Mummy Barrow who runs the Mummy Barrow blog (funnily enough!), along with the Magic Star chocolates so that the penguins wouldn’t get peckish in the post whilst travelling over here – how considerate!  She also very generously donated £10 towards posting penguins to Post Pals after this blog / vlog review has been completed.  Thank you!

These two Punk Penguins (red and blue instead of black and white!) love playing on the slide outside. I’ve told them that penguins eat fish, but they refuse to eat anything else apart from Magic Stars. Crazy and completely inseparable!

Pedro the Penguin comes from Enchanted Wood Toys!  They even sent a card to be given to his new owner, how very thoughtful and generous.  I think you’ll agree he’s a cutie, well on the way to recovery too thankfully  (he even came with his own prescription!).

Pedro the Penguin is a bit of a hyperchondriac. He insists on sleeping in my medicine tub. In the day time he sits on the couch with a Lemsip watching my Frozen Planet DVD on repeat.  I’ve asked him for the remote back, but he’s says he’s lost it.  Hmm….

The next two little rascals were sent over by Helen O Keefe!  I found them in my home-made booze cupboard having a whale of a time!

Did you know penguins could get hiccups? ‘Cos I didn’t!

‘I’m singing in the rain! Just singing in the rain! What a glooorious feeling! I’m a…. penguin in the rain!’  Another donation from Helen O Keefe!  Thank you Helen!

‘Hellooo, Whoooo are yoooou?’ This very well spoken Scots Owl made friends with Chill the penguin on Saturday. We took Chill out with us on Saturday because he said he was bored.

Here’s Chill checking out the Olympic Torch Relay in Rawtenstall. He ‘Squarked!’ his support instead of waving a flag. I still have no idea who sent him! It said on the tag he was from Inspirations Gift Shop, but I can’t work out who posted him. Pls tell me if he was from you!  I’d like to say thank you!

‘Petula’ the waddly penguin seems to have a few issues. I think her biological clock has been ticking. She raided the fridge for all the eggs and growls every time I go near her now! Growly penguins, whatever next!

Petula was sent by the penguintastic Orchard Toys, many thanks to them for their generosity!  I think…..I swear that penguin will bite me if I try to retrieve any of those eggs!  No omelettes for us methinks!

Now these are absolute menaces. I’ve told them not to torment the lion, but they insist that he likes it really. They are, in order or mischieviousness, Pepita, Poppy and Snowy. All sent by the extremely, lovely, wonderful Mandie!

Polly is a cutie. I found her in the fridge saying ‘It wasn’t me!’ She said ‘It was the really massive penguin that took them all, I tried to stop her, but she’s a bit scary!’ I think Polly is rather easily upset and refuses to come out of the fridge now. Aw… Another donation from Helen O Keefe

These are the little monkeys…erm penguins….that refuse to get out of the bathroom. They have the cheek to eat the soap and then complain that their beaks are frothing! Their names are ‘Persephonie, Pingu, Darcy, Betty, Derek and Petra.’ I have no idea which is which and they keep trying to confuse me because they think it’s funny. These were again from Mandie!

A really lovely book from Helen O Keefe! Beautiful pictures and the perfect bedtime story. Thank you! The homesick penguins have been reading this before they go to sleep at night.

These penguins really surprised me! They love climbing trees! I found them out here this afternoon taunting local cats. Mandie thank you! (although the cats think they’re an absolute tease)

I’ve had to fight the other penguins off this painting set, they all want a go! I’ve explained that they can’t possibly hold the paintbrush because they only have flippers and no opposable thumbs, but they just won’t take the hint. *tuts*  Cheers again Mandie!

‘KERSPLASH!’ Honestly, I’ve not had a bath in at least a week. Can’t fit in there because of all the bossy penguins. Our doggie had to join in too, he’s happy to have made new friends.  Mandie, I can’t believe how generous you were! Thanks. :O)

For the life of me, I could not get these out from behind the microwave. Dunno what they’re doing behind there. I think they may be nesting.  Again from the lurvely Mandie!

These are my tiny penguins, Perdy, Eric, Pongi, Flipper, Slapper (ahem!), Fred, Perigrine, and Flop (Flop went awol under an iceberg so he missed this shot)

These absolutely beautiful little pin badges were donated by Rocket Charities and in particular by a really ace lady called Veena Dookoo.  My son is a huge fan of Star Wars and would like to know if you are married to Count Dookoo and can you please get Luke Skywalker’s autograph?

Originally the pin badges were made for the Falklands Conservation Trust, but with their blessing they have been donated to the Post Pals charity.  Thank you!

Squish and Pat love to read just before bedtime. Wide-eyed and completely transfixed, they point at the pictures with their little flippers and go ‘Sqwark!’ when they find an exciting bit. This story is quite literally Flipping Brilliant!

Both these penguins were donated by my good friend Jo Bean from the Gadget Mum blog, they are very good natured most of the time, but Squish does get a bit feisty if Pat tries to turn the page before he’s finished reading it.

Flipping Brilliant ‘A Penguin’s Gude to a Happy Life’ was sent over to keep the penguins upbeat and happy in their new homes, by Alison from the Dragons and Fairydust blog.  Alison, you have excellent taste in literature, the penguins told me to tell you that. (honest they did….)

Pluto the Penguin plays happily in the backyard with a ball that I personally think is a bit too big for him. I like him but he is very noisy and shouts ‘GOAL!!!!’ an awful lot. Kindly donated by my daughter, Darlek!

This rather unusual looking penguin absolutely must be a Rockhopper Penguin. Give him a pile of rocks to hop on and he’s happy as a very happy penguin. I tried to take his rocks away once and he savaged my ankles, so I’ve left him where he is for the moment.

Rocky the Rockhopper penguin belly flopped his way over to us by way of Amanda from the Ana Mum Diary.  Thank you Amanda!

You’ve heard of the Invisible Man? This is the Invisible Penguin! Again from Amanda!  He’s very elusive and has ‘No Name’ apparently.  Mysterious no?

Petronella is very into flower arranging and plans to open a florist shop with some of the other penguins. This is her latest creation!

The Motor Neurone Disease Association sent us Petronella, and the next penguin too.  Although GaGa the Penguin is less popular with her penguin friends due to her obsession with fashion and her new feathers.  She thinks she is very stylish, the other penguins think she’s a bit of a show off.

Gaga is a very fashion conscious penguin. She thinks Black and White is ‘Just so last season!’

And finally (for now….)  Here’s the biggest, silliest penguin of the lot.  ME!!  I shall NEVER, EVER, EVER live this down.  When I started this I didn’t think I’d have to submit myself to this gallery, but in the spirit of all things Penguiney.

******Drum roll**********slap yer flippers together please!*****************

Flipping Fantastic! Waddle the neibours think! I strutted my stuff, I waddled, I sqwarked a bit, I did a little dance, I felt rather daft. Rather liberating though I have to say. Shan’t be wearing it on the school run though….

And another photo, simply because this one makes me giggle.

Sausage dressed in an absolutely fabulous penguin outfit! He adores it and yelled ‘Nook-Nook!’ and ‘Fish!!!’ throughout the photo shoot!

This Penguin outfit was donated by the very generous Fancy Dress Bash.  They have some brilliant costumes on their website and we’ll be heading over that way when it comes to Halloween this year I suspect.  Please do have a look at their site!

Thank you loads both Jo Bean from the Gadget Mum blog! and Fancy Dress Bash for helping us to really get into the Penguin spirit of things!

By the way, please can I just ask everyone not to judge me too harshly, I am a serious blogger you know.  I am, I am, I am, I am! *digs hole*

Another update! Waddling their flippery way over here are contributions from ToyJeanius, the Mummys Random Blog , the Cupcake Mumma blog, Top That Publishing, PrezzyBox,  plus quite a few more (just waiting for the postman!).

Post Pals - Putting a Smile on Childrens Faces