Mostly Hairless.

Mostly Hairless.

Over the last year I’ve been on Azathioprine due to my Ulcerative Colitis, this is a drug that cancer patients use, cancer patients also use Paracetamol so that doesn’t mean it’s as scary as it sounds.  But….. it has meant that my hair has been gradually thinning and falling out from the roots.  People say it doesn’t look that bad and that it just looks like I have very thin fine hair and that I should’t worry about it.  After all, I’m still here aren’t I?  The thing is, I think it looks terrible.  It frizzes in the slightest breeze, it doesn’t swing around my shoulders anymore it just hangs downwards and matts into mucky brown swamp donkey blonde strands.  I hate it.

This evening I trimmed Horace’s hair and once I’d done it I just thought ‘Feck it’ and asked him to cut my hair too.  The difference being, I wanted rid of it.  ALL of it.  Britney Spears stylee, except without the nervous breakdown and the papparazi.  I’ve realised I can’t cut all of it off because I don’t have a nice hat and my daughter would disown me at the school gates, but I have cut half of it off.  Photograph included as proof.


As Douglas Adams nearly said: ‘Mostly Hairless.’

I’m planning to start again.  Everyone will think I’ve got cancer or gone mad or something, but they can think what they like.  My mum and dad will probably be upset, but this is my choice.  It’ll grow back, and hopefully it’ll look more even and be in better condition.  If it grows back looking crap, then there’s no loss, it already looks appalling.  Maybe I’ll start wearing make-up so I’ll at least look very slightly feminine.  Or perhaps I’ll just look like a man in drag.

Anyway, this is a great excuse to buy a nice hat.

'Nice Hat'

‘Nice Hat’

My darling daughter found out she had nits this evening too, so I have to say that’s been a bit of a catalyst.  I don’t think I’ve got them, but this will certainly solve the problem.  Once the ‘Nice Hat’ arrives the rest of the hair will go too.  I’m just keeping some of it for the moment for the sake of the kids.  I don’t want to scare them.

The deed is done.  Everyone always says a new haircut is a great way to cheer yourself up.  I’ve decided this is my way of starting afresh.  Once I’ve had my hemorroidectomy I’ll be in remission from the Colitis and ‘fixed.’  After two years of pain, medication, endless hospital appointments and fatigue, I should be back to normal.  Except with a new hat and no hair.  Go me. *determined face*


17 responses to “Mostly Hairless.

  1. Oh Kay, so sorry you have been so poorly, what a brave post, I hope the side effects subside soon and you get your crowning glory back, although if it’s good enough for Jessie J it’s good enough for you xxx Jude x @jadlgw

  2. You need to buy two nice hats… What if you loose one in strong wind? A jolly good reason for having a spare I think.

    Ps well done, I don’t think I could ever do bald…I actually have been asked If I am a dude in drag on nights out. Mainly due to flat chest and being jolly tall. :-/ rude to ask though.

  3. Hey you. Good for you for taking steps to feel better about yourself. I must of known somehow as tonight I took the drastic step and completely shaved my head as well with a razor instead of the normal clippers. After the last few months Ive had I thought, feck it, and just did it. It feels strange but I like it. Well I think I do apart from feeling a bit cold.
    Take care of yourself. Hoping you feel better soon Hun.

  4. My hair went really thin due to medication/illness some years ago, and like you I shaved the lot off. My mum was most upset by the skinhead look, but eventually got over it. It wasn’t like it was a fashion choice!
    Funky hats were purchased and eventually my hair grew back. Much fun was had messing around with hair styles in between.
    In 12 months you’ll have decent hair and a less troublesome arse!

    Hugs x

  5. A brave move and I’m sure your hair will grow back better and stronger for it. If anybody is surprised or shocked, ask them if they’d leave a straggly rosebush unpruned. Of course they wouldn’t, they’d cut it back hard to encourage strong regrowth, and that’s exactly what you’ve done. I know you’ve thought about doing this before, and I think the fact that you’ve gone aheads with it this time is proof that you’re starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and look forward to a time when you’ll be well again, and off the medication, and your hair will have a chance to grow back without chemical interference. Well done!

  6. Excellent idea! I look forward to seeing a picture of the lush regrowth in a few months’ time! Meanwhile, think of the money and time you’ll save not having to shampoo and dry your hair… All the best 🙂

  7. Thanks everyone for your support and so sorry I deleted your comment Amanda. I hit the wrong button by accident. Doh! I just can’t bear looking in the mirror and thinking how terrible I look without any hope of it ever getting any better in its current condition….so at least if I go completely bald it might grow back looking better. If it doesn’t, then at least I tried. :O)

  8. Firstly..hugs! You have been through so much. I hope this is the start of a full recovery in your condition and I hope you end up with the most amazing hair!

  9. Fabulous hat! I’ve considered shaving head a few times in the past, I’m impressed with your bravery no matter what the reason. Am so hoping your operation sorts everything out for you.

  10. How brave and it should grow back stronger and thicker than ever before. Have fun finding a funky hat, you definitely need at least two! I really hope this is the light at the end of the tunnel for you

  11. wow your a brave woman, I would get quite upset if I had to do this as I hate my ears, and everybody would see them. Love the hat. Knotted scarves look quite nice as we. Hope it comes back as you have imagined.

  12. Go you indeed! I really hope you feel better for it and the hat is lovely. Maybe you could try some wigs too? I love wigs, they’re so much fun!

  13. So sorry you’re poorly flower, and that you’ve had your hand forced to make this decision BUT I think it’s fab that you’ve done it. I mean, at least once in our lives, most of us ladies wonder what we’d look like with a shaved head (normally on a bad hair day!), but hardly any of us have the guts to do it. I’m a little bit in awe of your bravery/coolness! And, even if you hate it, it will grow back in no time, quite possibly in better condition. Not to mention the hat opportunities. Hats rock, and so do you! x

  14. I went for years having my hair shaved up the side and underneath and it can still look very feminine. I used to have thin plaits at the sides to hold the side up a bit and to look a bit girl and I used to love having it up. It gets a bit velcro like when its growing back and you will probably find it tricky being precise when reshaving it (if you decide you like it) – my mum used to do it for me as the hairdressers got expensive, and we’d always have to laugh as she invariably catch a few long hairs with the razor. Good luck with the surgery too – I’ve been following your blog for a while now and really hope it gives you some relief – you deserve it x

  15. I never expected so many replies, thanks to you all. It’s really not a big deal. I’ve just got crap hair so am getting rid, that’s all. I have one nasty op in a weeks time and once I’ve recovered I’ll be completely normal as long as I stay in remission – which I’m very hopeful about. I’m not brave, I’m probably being a bit daft really, I just can’t stand to look in the mirror and think EW! every morning. This way, I’ll look in the mirror and think EW, and then ‘Well, there’s hope yet’ which is more than I was thinking before. You’re all lovely, thanks so much x

  16. I bet you’re excited for your hair to grow back even better than it was before 🙂 Fair play to you hun, my hair is proper crappy condition right now but I haven’t got the balls to shave it x

  17. Huge hugs Kaye, I’ve seen many of your posts go through on facebook without ever realising quite how ill you’ve been with it all. Love the hat and your sense of humour too, in spite of everything you’ve had to go through. Good luck with the surgery xxx

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