Cleverly Avoiding Housework
Horace is having a cleaning the house frenzy, ie, he keeps giving the kids stuff to give to me so I can put them away. All I can hear is the hoover going like a jet engine in the other room and shouts of ‘Pull your pants up!’ ‘Put that in the kitchen!’ ‘Give that to mummy, she knows where it goes!’. Every now and then one of the kids wanders in and passes me random items, which I then stash under the computer desk and ignore. This is very bad, but I am very smug because so far, I’m getting away with this appalling behaviour.
It’s the goddam weekend! I’m on strike! I’m having a mini rebellion all on my lonesome. I will not do as I’m told! When I’m brave enough I might even venture into the kitchen and make a cup of tea, after having made aforementioned tea, I will resolutely refuse to put anything back where it came from – because I’m an awkward cow or something.
Anyway, I’m supposed to be taking things easy, so I am working very hard at not working very hard. I ended up being admitted to A&E on Thursday night because of my stoopid stomach and excessive blood loss – but I’m back home now and everything is much the same as it was. It seems I’m fine to bleed like a stuck pig and that my vital signs are all fine so I can continue with the same meds I’m already on and it’s all good. Wierd innit! Colitis is a curious beast. I wrote a poem the other day because I got all ‘Aaargh!’ about it all. I fink I am a literary genius:
An ode to my Ass. ‘Oh Ass, you are a pain in the ass, what with the gasses and the masses of disasterous trips to the loo. I’m forced to make crasser and crasser jokes about asses because coping with my ass is just poo!’
Moving on! Halloween is just around the corner and I reckon I’ll have to start thinking about Trick or Treat outfits for the kids soon. Whilst thinking about this topic the other day I came across this cartoon and just had to share it with you because it’s just downright fabulous. So I’ll leave you with it, and hope it makes you giggle like it did me. I’m planning some less wordy, more picturey (bad english, but you know what I mean!) posts soon.