Cleverly Avoiding Housework

Cleverly Avoiding Housework

Horace is having a cleaning the house frenzy, ie, he keeps giving the kids stuff to give to me so I can put them away.  All I can hear is the hoover going like a jet engine in the other room and shouts of ‘Pull your pants up!’ ‘Put that in the kitchen!’ ‘Give that to mummy, she knows where it goes!’.  Every now and then one of the kids wanders in and passes me random items, which I then stash under the computer desk and ignore.  This is very bad, but I am very smug because so far, I’m getting away with this appalling behaviour.

It’s the goddam weekend!  I’m on strike!  I’m having a mini rebellion all on my lonesome.  I will not do as I’m told! When I’m brave enough I might even venture into the kitchen and make a cup of tea, after having made aforementioned tea, I will resolutely refuse to put anything back where it came from – because I’m an awkward cow or something.

Anyway, I’m supposed to be taking things easy, so I am working very hard at not working very hard.  I ended up being admitted to A&E on Thursday night because of my stoopid stomach and excessive blood loss – but I’m back home now and everything is much the same as it was.  It seems I’m fine to bleed like a stuck pig and that my vital signs are all fine so I can continue with the same meds I’m already on and it’s all good.  Wierd innit!  Colitis is a curious beast.  I wrote a poem the other day because I got all ‘Aaargh!’ about it all.  I fink I am a literary genius:

An ode to my Ass. ‘Oh Ass, you are a pain in the ass, what with the gasses and the masses of disasterous trips to the loo. I’m forced to make crasser and crasser jokes about asses because coping with my ass is just poo!’

Moving on!  Halloween is just around the corner and I reckon I’ll have to start thinking about Trick or Treat outfits for the kids soon.  Whilst thinking about this topic the other day I came across this cartoon and just had to share it with you because it’s just downright fabulous.  So I’ll leave you with it, and hope it makes you giggle like it did me. I’m planning some less wordy, more picturey (bad english, but you know what I mean!) posts soon.

5 responses to “Cleverly Avoiding Housework

  1. Love this. I hadn’t spotted the panda ears! Hope you’re feeling a bit better after your horrible experience in the week, I think you’re quite right to be taking it easy today.

  2. yep put your feet up, play on your pc and starve the family….great weekends work not done. hope you feel better soon

  3. Oh Elaine! You actually scared me with that comment. The family did not starve for starters! I made a proper tea and everyfink. And I did washing, and I’m not really all that bad all the time, honest. *digs hole*

  4. I’m not actually being a pain to annoy OH exactly, I just hate being bossed around my own house. Horace I know you read this blog and I’m sure you were already aware of this and have exactly the same issues with me!

  5. You are indeed a literary genius.

    Hope you feel a LOT better soon.

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