‘Always Look On The
Bright Side of Life!’
Today this seems rather appropriate, and I’d love you to sing along with me and the old Monty Python crew. (a little swearing here if you’re sensitive by the way)
This morning I jumped out of bed, found a clean pair of jeans, ironed my shirt, fed the kids, whirled around like a crazy woman and prepared for my second day in the office. I had to explain to Sausage about ‘irons’ as he’d never seen one before, yep, I’m that bad. Anyway, the phone rang……
It was my new employer explaining that I wasn’t actually what they were looking for after all, and not to bother coming in. Joy. I sat at the top of the stairs staring at the phone with tears running down my cheeks. Basically they needed someone who could write really, really fast about roasting pigs (it’s a catering sort of firm), sounds ridiculous when I put it like that. My speciality isn’t roasting pigs, and it’s not writing ‘fast’ either so they’d decided to cut their losses. To be honest, finding ‘nice’ pictures of roasting pigs to go with their blogs was making me feel like becoming a vegetarian anyway, so it was probably for the best.
Never in my life have I been so excited about a job. Never before have I told so many people and never before have I made so many plans in my head because of a job. Consequently I’ve made a bit of a tit of myself. Well, never mind. I’m still here, there’s no loss really. In a way I wish they’d given me more of a chance and yet I’m almost glad they didn’t. I wasn’t really inspired by endless blog posts about pigs on sticks. Hey ho.
I dealt very well with the rejection I have to say! I went back to bed for an hour and half just because I could. After dreaming about a very small underground house populated with pub singers and going on a long car journey with cartoon characters I went onto Stage 2 of the ‘Coping Strategy.’ This involved sitting in front of the TV, eating packets of crisps and sulking at an empty room, which is a great coping mechanism if you’re into into putting on weight and filling your brain with crap. In addition to this I’ve completely ignored all housework just ‘because.’
Now the kids are in bed I’m into Stage 3 of my coping strategy, I’m trawling You Tube for as many versions of ‘Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life’ as I can find. I’m whistling in the right places and singing all the words tunelessly and with feeling. I feel better.
So, if you want a social media kind of person to promote your business, to tweet inane but enthusiastic tweets, to update your Facebook pages, to blog about anything other than pork and charred pigs on pointy sticks, etc, etc – I’m still here!
I think the worst bit is that I defrosted some meat last night for tonight’s tea. This went in the slow cooker and now the entire house smells of slow cooked pig, which would normally smell delicious. The main problem is that now it just adds insult to injury and the stench is offending my nose terribly. Tomorrow we’ll be having a vegetarian dish of some sort, cauliflower cheese or summat, with absolutely no dead animals in it.
Right, I’m off to feel optimistic despite all the odds. *determined face*
‘Always look on the bright side of life! De-dum de-dum de-dum-de-dum!’
…………………..*please whistle along*……………………. Thank you. x