Just a quick post because I’m cross eyed tired.
So anyway, I’ve decided I’m a drama queen and I should go and find a Drama Country to go and rule.
I’m writing this down so I can read back on this when I’m feeling shaky and remember to keep a grip on things, because they really aren’t that bad.
So here’s the situation. Circumstances last night led to me having yet another wobbly do with quite a bit of irrational sobbing. Get this….
Me: ‘I just can’t take it any more, I think I’m falling in pieces and it’s all too much for me!’ (wipes tears and snot on a tissue, throws it on the side and switches the kettle on because that’s what I always do in times of crisis)
Horace: ‘I know it seems bad, but it’ll be ok’
Me: ‘I just feel so tired, and I can’t be bothered to do anything and it just feels……(puts head in hands for added emphasis) like everything is just too hard.’ *insert whiney voice*
Horace: ‘We all have days like this you know, I have them too’
Me: ‘I think I might be having a breakdown because I’m just not normal you know, I’m thinking stuff that just isn’t normal. Walking home the other day I was so close to just curling up in a ball under a tree in a patch of sun, and I just imagined I was a fox or something. I just wanted to sleeeeep’ *gets even whinier*
Horace: ‘Honestly, I think it’s all a bit much too sometimes, I do understand. Mind you I’ve never thought of being a fox before but…..’
Me: *scrabbles in cupboard for a cup and a teabag* ‘ I just can’t take it! And I’m just falling in pieces and my hair is crap, and I’m getting podgy again, and will you love me if I’m wrinkly? Do you still think I’m pretty. I don’t smile anymore! It’s just all awful!’
Me: *Turns away from Horace for dramatic effect* Sobs pitifully and ridiculously.
Me: *Turns back and stirs tea bag carefully, mashing it on the side of the cup* *sighs like the world is ending*
It went on like this for ages I think. Pathetic really. It’s weird, when I’m in that head state it all seems so important and so urgent and like the world really is falling in around my ears. Now I have a little perspective and I can look back at that situation, it’s down right comical. Foxes?!!! I mean, where the hell does that fit in? My poor harassed Horace puts up with a lot.
So there you go. I just thought I should write something to prove I’m actually human, rather than some kind of toy addict. (That’s the kids, not me to be honest). Anyway, right now I am sane, am not a fox and am looking forward to a sunny day tomorrow. I just hope these stupid stressy episodes stop bothering me, it’s like I quite literally fall in a hole (a fox hole maybe) and I just have to claw my way out again.
And as I invariably say….so there you go! I’ll get me coat.