Intelligent Conversation (one sided and about goo)


Intelligent Conversation (one sided and about goo)

The delights of co-operative gaming! Horace is playing Portal with a friend. (A Playstation 3 game that seems to be about problem solving and sarcastic robots by way of an explanation).   For those of you who are unfamiliar with gaming terms, basically this means Horace has linked his game up with a mate who’s sat in another living room in a nearby town and they’re playing the same game together via the internet or the Playstation network (or whatever!).

Let me set the scene for you.  Picture this.  Horace is sat smack bang in the middle of the living room on his spinny computer chair, controller in hand wearing an ear piece that he’s using to hear his fellow player with – staring intently at our TV which seems to feature mainly robots and something that shoots circles, and erm… a big industrial warehouse type place.   The earpiece flashes green on and off and makes him look like he’s half robot or a Borg (there’s a reference for all you closet Star Trek geeks).  What amuses me more than anything else is that he’s chatting away to his friend whilst playing the game – and I can only hear his side of the conversation so he sounds like a mad man talking to himself.

Here’s a little of what I’ve heard this evening,  virtually in the same order I heard it spoken

‘Send us some goo!’

‘Can you push the goo?’

‘Is it coated? Just drop it down here and coat this bit’

‘Goo goo, GO GO!!!’

‘Do you think she’s getting nastier with us, or what do you mean?’

‘Where did that go? So that’s completely covered, and then where are you planning on going? Are you going out of the red portal and then back into my yellow portal.  Hang on I want to do more gooing. Did you replace my portal with the goo? Yellow, out of which one sorry?  Oh yes yes yes, I was trying to do the platform I was on, but it goes too far.  No mainly the exit and the wall.   Hang on, try the skiddy thing again, make your way across to the skiddy thing and try that, see where that takes you’

*Suddenly laughs loads and starts muttering about lasers*

‘I’m going to bounce up and down, and you can send me a box, I’ll juggle this and you can send me another box so I can cover myself’

‘Right, I’m in this and I’m going to fly through the air, and you can in theory fly one out of there….er but can you not launch a box?  Ah, but only when I’m flying through the air!!’

‘Speed gooo….speed goo!  …could we not cover them in speed goo instead of a laser?’

And this is all while I’m sat in silence in the corner of the room typing away, looking at him with a half smile on my face, chuckling ocassionally.  I’m being ignored really, but I don’t mind.  The completely insane conversation I’m earwigging is far more fun than any other deep and meaningful conversation we could be having about the weather or whose turn it is to wash up.


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One response to “Intelligent Conversation (one sided and about goo)

  1. what ever happened to opening the front door and going out and making yourself into a robot and using tree branches as goo guns?? ooohhh how life changes and Im getting old

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