Guardian Q&As – Find Out More About Me – (AKA the Knob or Pint blog)
It started one day when Mrs Lister set out to find out about her fellow bloggers, using the same format as is used in the Guardian Q&A when they interview celebs. She says:
The Guardian Weekend magazine is a good read and one feature I always look forward to is the ‘Q&A’ interview with a random celebrity/policitician/author/whatever. It never fails to make me chuckle/shout/cry/want to chuck a chair through a window. You really can tell a lot about a person by the way they answer those questions. I can read some of them and think ‘yeah you seem like a nice person, I’d go for a pint with you’, I can read others and think ‘Christ what a KNOB! LISTEN TO YOURSELF!!”
Obviously it’s not the same as sitting down and having a chat but I still reckon it’s a pretty good barometer of personality.
I thought this might be a bit of light relief after all the seriousness of the last blog. Personally I don’t think I’m that interesting, but this fills a bit of blog space, and there is ABSOLUTELY NO RANTING. Hope you approve.
Which living person do you most admire, and why?
Because I’m an awkward so-and-so, I’m going to substitute the word ‘living’ for the word ‘dead’. It’s my blog and I muck about with things if I want to! Douglas Adams. He wrote the most hilarious, quirkiest books I’ve ever read and just seemed like an all round incredibly witty, grounded, sensitive man. He collaborated with Mark Cawardine in the Last Chance to See series and had an enthusiasm for nature which I can relate to. Certainly in the Hitchhiker series, I absolutely loved the way he looked at ordinary every day situations and turned them on their head too. If he was alive now Horace would have to keep a close eye on me. (shush….don’t tell him though)
When were you happiest?
On my wedding day. I remember someone taking a photo of me and Horace, he stood behind me, his arms linked around my waist. I thought, ‘This is it, this is what I want.’ It was a moment of absolute certainty and quiet satisfaction. I’d bagged myself a good ‘un. (I wouldn’t really swap him for Douglas Adams, anyone with such a fascination with towels couldn’t really be good marriage material)
What was your most embarrassing moment?
There are so many! I don’t know where to start. Maybe the time I went to a Surestart event and stood around looking at a poster while Sausage and Darlek played. I suddenly noticed another mum staring at me, and noticed even more suddenly that I had been talking to myself quite loudly about the poster. I had no children next to me, so I couldn’t pretend I’d been talking to them. Worst thing was the poster had a tag line, something like ‘Get rid of the bug’ (maybe to do with smoking, I can’t remember), and a picture of a cockroach I think – so I’d been muttering about cockroaches – proper full on nut-job material! I never saw that other mum again, I think maybe she ran away if she saw me first, so that’d be why.
Aside from property, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
The most expensive thing I’ve bought recently is a beautiful, hand painted, double sided tree bead from Rowanberry Designs. It almost exactly matches my tree tattoo, and cost me about £50 I think. I decided I wanted it no matter what and sat on Ebay hitting the bid button and swearing until it was mine, all mine!!! (does wicked witch cackle). I’m not one for spending massive amounts of money, but when I see something I like I can be very determined.
What is your most treasured possession?
My patchwork blanket. I spent over 12 months making it with 2 inch diameter hexagons, it consists of flowers made of as many different materials I could get my hands on. Some of the material are from curtains and furnishings my mum used at home, other material came from friends and will always remind me of them. It has happy memories sewn into it.
Where would you like to live?
By a lake, in a house with lots of light and windows, with a huge garden that leads directly to the shore.
What’s your favourite smell?
There’s a couple. Baking ginger biscuits, because my mum always used to make them when I was little, it’s a homely comforting smell. Also honeysuckle and blackthorn flowers, both remind me of balmy walks on summer evenings.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
I’d love Helena Bonham-Carter to play me. She’s a fabulous actor and could make a silk purse out of a sows ear – so she’d be perfect for the job.
What is your favourite book?
A Child’s Garden of Verses by RL Stevenson illustrated by Hilda Boswell. I’ve always said that if, god forbid, I ever end up in a coma, I’d like someone to sit by me and read the poems.
What is your most unappealing habit?
Ripping my toe-nails off, not putting them in the bin and then limping for ages afterwards because I’ve got carried away and drawn blood. Nice.
What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?
A wood nymph. All green chiffon and fairy wings. I’d probably end up having to carry a sign around saying ‘I am not Peter Pan’ though.
What is your earliest memory?
Pooing behind the sofa in the living room, must have been very young (I certainly hope so anyway).
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
A glass of wine on a weeknight. Not always, just every now and then when I think I deserve one.
What do you owe your parents?
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
To my hamster Piglet. I put him in the bin because I thought he was dead, but he wasn’t. He’d gone into hibernation because he was cold. Poor love woke up after 3 days in the bin and chewed his way out of the bag. It was at Easter and we were surprised to see him again. Considering the time of year, and his resurrection, he was called Piglet Jesus from then on. So I should apologise for trying to bin him to death and for giving him a stupid name really. (I blogged about it a while ago I think) Aha! Here’s the link! Kay, Noble Rescuer of Animals, or not.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Obviously that would be Horace and the kids and other obviously very important people I treasure. That goes without saying. Also chocolate and food in general. I live to eat, I don’t eat to live.
What does love feel like?
If I said walking through long grass in bare feet on a summer’s day, would that make sense?
What was the best kiss of your life?
Sitting on a wooden bench overlooking the sea cliffs somewhere near Mevagissey. We were interrupted by an over enthusiastic labrador and some embarrassed looking hikers.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
What is the worst job you’ve done?
I worked in a biscuit factory to make a bit of cash whilst at college over the hols. I had to count 17 biscuits, put them in every third box, turn the last biscuit over (to make it look neat) and that was about it. Like forever. I was rubbish at it too. I kept losing count and wasn’t quick enough. My hair stank of digestive biscuits too.
If you could edit your past, what would you change?
I’d not be quite so earnest and I’d be less obsessive about Christianity. I did the ‘born again’ thing from age 13 – 20, I took it all very seriously and wanted to change the world. As you do. Mind you, it helped shape my character for the better I suspect.
What is the closest you’ve come to death?
When Darlek was still in her pram, I nearly walked both her and I in front of a speeding car. I wasn’t concentrating whilst crossing the road and stopped myself a millisecond before I could have killed both of us.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I’m not proud of much of what I’ve achieved if I’m being honest. I have no career to speak of, cannot drive, cannot keep my house tidy, cannot control my temper most of the time, cannot finish almost anything I start…..but I am proud of having raised two healthy, happy children who will hopefully go out into the world and make it a better place. Call that my contribution.
When did you last cry, and why?
This evening, when thinking about what I consider to be my greatest achievement.
How do you relax?
I don’t. When I’m asleep? I’m a bit of a restless soul I think.
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
Being able to drive, and being calmer generally.
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
Don’t take everything so seriously, and ‘It’ll all be the same in a hundred years, except that we’ll all be a funny colour.’
So which am I? Knob or Pint?