Otherwise known as #FishyDishyCookery!
I said I’d tweet this live and so I shall, I’m also going to attempt to blog this live so you can see the photos, so bear with me while I flail about tweeting and posting badly angled, irregular sized photos of salmon and dishwashers and swear quietly under my breath.
Stage 1: I completely mucked up all cookery arrangements, I was supposed to go to MIL’s, but double booked myself and had to stay at home all on my lonesome. This was a little upsetting as MIL is a brilliant cook and I was hoping she’d save me from a fate worse than fishy foolishness. I’d forgotten I’d bought tickets to go see Jenny Eclair with my mum for the Saturday night, so could not rearrange, not that I’d have wanted to. Mum would have written me out of her will, and anyway it was laugh. (Enjoyed the show, but felt a little uncomfortable to have to sit next to my mum whilst Jenny Eclair said the C word lots and told very funny, but embarassing anecdotes)
Stage 2: Sis agreed to help out instead, which was excellent, as she used to be a chef and is good at this sort of thing.
Stage 3: Sis has tummy bug and is not able to help. Oh dear.
Stage 4: It turns out that Horace and kids will actually be home in time to help after all! Woo Hoo! So it won’t be just me and the kitty after all. Kitty is very keen to help. Very keen indeed. I ran out of cat food last night and I swear if I’d left the door into the kitchen open he’d have been trying to wedge the fridge door open with his furry paws while I slept.
Stage 5: Here we go! Twitter ‘Fish Party’ almost ready to launch, 15 mins till 3pm. God knows how I’m going to carry this off. I think it might all end up a bit of a damp squid, but we’ll see. (pls note another fishy pun!)
In brief, I’ve worked ridiculously hard at this, if you do enjoy this debacle, please do consider giving to the RNLI, which is the main reason why I’m doing this. The link is here. JUST GIVING
Here is how I’ve done this so far!
3kg Salmon (skinned and pinned) Thanks to Wellgate Fisheries in Clitheroe,
1 lemon and 1 lime
Cure: 500g Salt & 250g of Sugar mixed together
1 Candy Dishwasher (run several times to ensure there’s no Rinse Aid left in there)
A ton of Cling Film
Here we go!
I mixed the cure together and plastered the fish with it. Apparently it works better if you put more cure on the thicker parts of the fish. Personally I just covered it all until it looked like it had been snowing heavily in my kitchen and that was as far as I went with a ‘method’.
So that’s where I’m up to! Am now going to attempt the next bit where I have to wash the cure off, apply cling film and set dishwasher going, basically. Sounds easy. Sounds suspiciously easy in fact. We shall see! Horace and kids due to land shortly. Darlek has got a new toy ice-cream maker or something so will no doubt be wanting to do ice-cream recipes when she gets home, so must make sure we don’t end up with any horrendous mix ups – Heston Blumenthal might be able to carry off Fish Ice-Cream, but I doubt I can…..
To be continued…..
Right, so Kids and Horace got home. Bedlam commenced, as it always does. Here are pics of the work in progress.
And now I do the normal cookery bit, we are having new potatoes, asparagus tips and cauliflower cheese to go with the salmon – all traditionally cooked in the washing machine….er….I mean on the hob. ;O)
I’ll let you have some pics of the finished Dishwashered Fishy when it comes out. Stay tuned for fishy updates! I hope this works, I’ll never live this down if it doesn’t!!!
AND HERE IT IS!! FRESH FROM THE DISHWASHER!! WOOO HOOOOO!!
Horace’s tummy was rumbling, I was shaking with nerves, the kids were asking for marmite butties – it was all a bit tense waiting for the dishwasher to finish washing the salmon I have to say. And then it went BEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!
With more fear and trepidation than I usually feel when I open the dishwasher, I peeked in. The salmon was still there in one piece, clingfilm unmelted – and it was a delicate shade of well…salmon pink.
It took me forever to get through all the clingfilm, I’d been a bit overzealous to put it mildly. But here it is!
Then I tentatively tasted it, to see if it had a Finish flavouring. It didn’t! It was gorgeous! I have to say it is was / is (I still have a lot left) the nicest salmon I have ever tasted. Now I know this came from Wellgate Fisheries, so it’s probably a top class fishy anyway, but I do think the cooking method had a lot to answer for. I know melt-in-the-mouth is an over-used phrase, but it really was. I’ve had fish that’s been positively chewing gum like; this on the other hand was very erm…squishy, moist and full of lovely fishy juices. You can tell I don’t do food blogs so much, can’t you!
Now there’s no way I would serve anything to my kids that I’m not 100% confident with. Bearing this in mind, I immediately shared out the salmon, filled the plate with accompanying veg and put it on the table. This is the result.
Sausage did seem inordinately pleased with his potatoes and shouted about them for a while, but didn’t eat them. Instead he polished off all his salmon and began nicking Darlek’s – so he was happy at least. Poor Darlek just doesn’t like fish, not even extraordinary, special, Dishwashered Fish – so she ate her veg and I was happy enough with that. Her expression does make me laugh though, note the folded arms and the ‘look’.
Horace ate two portions and so did I. We still have loads left and shall be visiting relatives with salmon-in-a-bag for the next couple of days I reckon. We could probably feed a grizzly bear for the remainder of the winter, there’s far too much for just us! Despite everything I’ve said, I do promise faithfully, that I will not be sending fillets of salmon in jiffy bags to friends. Honest. (evil grin…now you’re nervous…) ;o)
This is one final shot of me, contentedly eating my Dishwashered Fish dinner. It tasted soooo good, and I highly recommend the cooking method, it’s not as mad as it sounds. Much like myself. Honest guv.
At this stage I can announce that the grand total of £101 (+£26.23 gift aid) was raised for the RNLI and I am so proud of my wonderful friends in the real world and in the virtual world of Twitter and Facebook for being so generous, and for helping me promote this bizarre cookery stunt, and for supporting me. Huge ((hugs)) And yes, I am practising my Oscar acceptance speech and will shortly be bursting into floods of tears! :O)
In the meantime I know a lot of people have read this and have not been able to donate. If that’s you, please do consider voting for me instead? I have entered a blogging competition where the prize is £250 and if I win it will all go to the RNLI. It is a daily vote up until the 21/2, and all you have to do is click on the link I’ll post under here, and click on the Brink of Bedlam option. If each and everyone of you manages to do that every day till that date, you’ll help me raise another £250 – easy. Please do help me, I will genuinely cry if I lose. I’ve worked so hard at the #fishydishycookery stunt and at this blogging comp.
And a final note. I genuinely do blog about issues other than fish! I’m officially a mummy blogger, but I get easily distracted and go off on tangents – if you’d like to join me on a regular basis on the Brink of Bedlam, please do click on ‘Sign Me Up!’ for further updates. It’s nice to have company! :O)
Oh, by the way. I completely wrecked my kitchen, does anyone fancy helping me clear up?