I’m sure you’ve all read reviews where people say ‘Thanks to Fred from Blah Blah for sending me the jacket, I wore it and it was very nice,’…… now, this review isn’t quite like that – although I am definitely still very grateful to The ‘Gothic Shop for sending me the gorgeous items. Read on to see how the title ‘The Gothic Dress Saga‘ became true to its name, and how it very nearly didn’t make it to print. This is a review with a twist. I loved the dress and the bag, but…. things didn’t quite go to plan.
You see, Julia, the site owner is obviously a kindred spirit. She appears to be afflicted with Sod’s Law. In regards to the Rockabilly dresses from the range I chose to review, The Gothic Shop has sold over 100 of them, with only a few exchanges due to sizing; about 25 bags from the Sinister range have been sold too, and never a return or complaint in regards to them. The Sinister range has been sold for the grand total of 4 years with no quality issues ever raising their ugly heads and a quick google search reveals a excellent and some might say exemplary customer service history and glowing reviews. Julia has been nothing less than friendly and professional throughout this blogging process and has proved how genuinely concerned she is to present herself and her shop in an honest light. This is despite the review becoming a perfect illustration of Sod’s Law incarnate. This sort of thing could only ever happen to me or to Julia apparently – the metaphorical toast landed jam side down for both of us in this instance.
The evening started well enough. I finally decided upon a purple flower hair accessory dragged through a twisted, half pinned hair do with a mother of pearl, sea green and blue clip. Make up was a half assed affair, as always – slightly heavier than usual black eyeliner, and I tried to do the ‘flick’ at the corner of my eyes to exaggerate the lash length which is very daring for me! (I doubt it was even noticeable on the photo, but I did try…). Nordic purple lipstick, a thick ornate silver band, black lily stud earrings and my favourite beaded choker. Eventually I settled on a pair of black buckled and zippered ankle boots which I could stagger about in quite well. This took quite a while and combined with the dress, I don’t think I looked too bad actually. I was certainly geared up for a good night out. The photos I posted in ‘Could I pass for a goth on a dark, foggy night?’ were taken just a couple of minutes before I raced out the door into the car which was in turn racing to get to the coach to Manchester.
I said ‘Hello!’ as I pl0nked myself down on the front seat, and just as the words left my mouth, I felt something give way behind one shoulder – and then a sort of ripping sound and the same sensation on my other shoulder. I buckled my seat belt, the car roared down the road and then I started swearing, because I realised that both straps had become detached from the back of my dress and were flopping uselessly in front of me. Major dress malfunction! Luckily the driver was really good at reversing at speed, so we parked up outside our door again, I threw myself out of the car while OH yelled about being late for coaches and I scrabbled about for a replacement dress and a needle and thread (I’m a bit handy at sewing, which is lucky!). Many people might have given up at this point, but I’d blogged about this dress, I’d taken pictures, I’d bought acessories, done matching make-up, and apart from anything else I really loved it so I was damn well going to wear the thing. This is why I ended up sat on the car park waiting for the bus – in a very hurriedly chosen, very indecently short black sequin dress – sewing the straps back on my outfit by the light of a street lamp.
Horace’s work colleagues were the picture of politeness and tried not to stare at me, but I explained my position anyway and it was, bizarrely, a very neat way of breaking the ice. Then I had the challenge of having to get out of my awful tarty short dress and get back into my haphazardly sewn Rockabilly Gothic dress. It took some doing I can tell you! Horace and I bagged a back seat on the coach, which was thankfully quite private due to heavily condensated windows – Horace held up my huge long black cardigan (very well chosen in retrospect) and I simply wriggled out of one dress and wriggled back into the other one. I can’t even believe I was brave enough to do that without having had a drop to drink. To be honest, I think I just decided circumstances were not going to beat me. Cinderella was going to get to the ball! (throws arms in air with huge melodramatic gesture)
The evening itself was a friendly enough affair; the alcohol flowed, the sparkly lights sparkled and the entertainer sang a billion and one Take That songs with gusto. We had a three course meal, and were treated to a ‘Table Magician’ performance which was quite entertaining – especially as he called at least three of the blokes around the table, his ‘Beautiful Assistants’ as he blagged them for tenners to do tricks with. There were nine of us on our table, and at least 5 of us ended up reverting to 11 year olds (this is beginning to sound like a school maths question) and began making paper aeroplanes and throwing them at the other work’s table. Once the target table was suitably aggravated, Horace then went on to make viking hats with napkins and harassed fellow colleagues into wearing them.
The evening progressed and the music turned into ‘Come On Eileen’ and ‘Saturday Night’ and enthusiastic drunken dancing commenced. Although I have to admit I didn’t really join in with that. I’d invested in some boots with heels and I’m never steady on my pins when I’m a bit tipsy at the best of times. Instead I tried to chat to people at our table and struggled to hear most of what was said if I’m being honest. I have very slight hearing difficulties and pubs and clubs are nightmare when it comes to following a conversation. I think I probably smiled and nodded too much. Ah well! I also noticed half way through the evening that one of the gems had fallen off my Sinister bag (I love referring to it as my ‘Sinister bag’ it makes it sound like I’m storing scary things in there). It is possible that someone could have trodden on it when I wasn’t looking, or that the clasp wasn’t tight enough around the gem – I don’t know.
Eventually the evening came to a close, the lights came on, ‘Jim’ll Fix it For You’ began playing (I have absolutely no idea why they chose that as the kicking out song – maybe they were implying that if we didn’t get out of there quick enough a bouncer called Jim would come and ‘Fix us’ or something?!) and we all herded together and played at ‘Hunt the Mini-Bus’ for a bit. A good time was had by all (apart from one poor soul who ended up in Casualty after slipping on the dance floor) and we got home at about 2am, happy, hungry and slightly pished.
Many thanks to Julia for allowing me to review her fantastic Gery Black Polkadot Swing Dress from the Rockabilly range, and for providing a stunning Sinister black velvet and rose evening purse bag. If anyone is interested in this dress, I highly recommend getting a Petticoat to complete the swinging effect. It’s worth having a look around the Sinister clothing range too, some of the dresses on there are really impressive. The gowns in particular would be perfect for upmarket Christmas events if you want to look that little bit different and stand out from the million and one Little Black Dresses.