Unfortunate Language Development….

Unfortunate Language Development…..

Once again this is just a quick blog.  I’ll waffle for as long as this packet of chocolate raisins last for, and then I really should actually go to bed on time.

I neeeed to record this, because it cracked me up no end.  I don’t think any god-fearing, responsible parent should be amused by this, but I can’t help myself.  I apologise for my immature sense of humour in advance. (grovels)  I suspect this is an example of bad parenting, but then I’ve never pretended to be perfect. 

OH took S to the park the other day and when he came home he told me about S’s newest linguistic trick / development.  S has learnt to say ‘Faster’.  Problem is, he doesn’t say his ‘F’s’ properly, he uses ‘B’s’ instead; in addition to this he adds a ‘d’ at the end, for reasons only known to himself.  I’ll leave you to work out the word, although I’ll give you a hint.  It sounds very like the word ‘Bar Steward’.

Consequently poor OH had a son shouting ‘B*sterd Daddy!’ over and over again, as he pushed him on the swings – there were tons of other parents there too.  I think they were probably too polite to say anything and maybe sniggered about it afterwards.  OH was a mixture of embarrassed and highly amused.

We decided we needed to help him get over his ‘F’ problem and spent a while trying to get him to say ‘Faster’ properly.  This did not go to plan at all.  It just meant that he repeated the word after us incorrectly every time, to great comic effect.  OH and I ended up nearly crying with laughter and S just sat there looking at us like we were mad, repeating the word ‘B*sterd’ every now and then.  The more serious we tried to be, the worse it got.  Very, very, unfortunately funny.  D was thankfullly in bed at the time or would no doubt have been taking notes.   She’s taken to shouting ‘For God’s sake!’ and looking very proud of herself recently.  Looks like both my two are learning the linguistic ropes a little too quickly for my liking.

I don’t think I dare take S to the park until he’s mastered the ‘F’ sound, I’d either die laughing or have to find a hole to curl up in.  On the up side, S said last night before bed….’Mummy boves me’ which was frankly adorable. 


7 responses to “Unfortunate Language Development….

  1. But seriously, if you want to learn vocabulary,
    try this http://english-words-grade4.testvocabulary.com/
    Professional interactive vocabulary tests and exercises.

  2. Your blog always makes me laugh, but today even more so as it reminded me about an incident many years ago. I was in my 20s, newly married and with no experience at all of young children or their language development. My husband was in the Army at the time and our first posting was to Brunei, where at the time there was just one, fairly busy road, that ran from one end of the country to the other, along the coast.
    In those days, seat belts and child seats were unknown; people just dumped their kids in the back of the car and hoped for the best. (The fact that the best didn’t always happen has resulted in the safety precautions we have now.)
    So on my first day of being a real grown up, with her own home and her husband out at work, and all that, Liz, one of the neighbours took me out on a guided tour of the region. She dumped her son, who was nearly three years old, on the back seat and off we went.
    As we drove along, traffic was whizzing past on the other side of the road and some of the heavy lorries were going very fast and far too close to our side of the road. The little boy was standing up on the back seat watching the traffic, and every time one sped past he yelled “F*CK! F*CK!” at the top of his voice. Liz didn’t bat an eyelid. I presumed that when she didn’t have a guest in the car, she was a rather vocal driver and her son was imitating her.
    But then we passed a tractor and his cry changed to “FACTOR! FACTOR!”. Liz turned to me and said, “Thank goodness it wasn’t another TRUCK.”

    • Fantastic! Genuinely LOLing at that. Sarah Lemon mentioned on FB about her daughter reading a book with a car in it, every time she saw it she’d shout ‘One Car! One Car!’ which sounded very much like ‘W*nker! W*nker!’ – I reckon she’ll have road rage when she’s older, PSML! :O)

  3. That is so funny!!!! I can just picture your husband at the park lol!
    But Kay, seriously, are you sure you want S to be able to say ‘F’ words?!

  4. Pingback: Decisions, Decisions…. « brinkofbedlam

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