Thor Will Strike Me Down With Lightening For This: A Craft Project Gone Horribly Wrong
Maybe I’m not blogging so much, but I’m still mucking about on the internet quite a bit and I’m definitely doing a lot of crafting, namely chainmaille (as if you hadn’t already guessed.) This is a small piece of writing about me partaking in both of my hobbies with possibly disasterous consequences.
Anyway….a friend of mine asked me to make him a chainmaille ‘Icelandic Thor’s Hammer’ in bronze. Apparently he has a really big hammer and it’s a symbol that’s widely recognised. It basically looks like this:
After staring at the image for quite some time, I concluded that these hammers have a sticky out bit at the top and a longer sticky out bit at the bottom. No problem. Oh how wrong I was. It all went downhill from there.
I came up with this:
So, rather than making a hammer, I made something entirely different that looks anatomically inspired. I am both proud, ashamed and amused in equal parts. After all’s said and done, it was quite tricky – but it is maybe a tad obscene.
Friends on Facebook and on the craft forums I frequent, all sniggered and made lewd comments about how I’d made ‘Thor’s Other Hammer’. Thor is apparently connected with fertility as well as massive metal tools so maybe this is sort of, kind of, vaguely on topic.
In Norse mythology, Thor is a hammer-weilding god associated with thunder, lightening, storms, oak trees, strength, the protection of mankind, and also hallowing, healing and fertility.
With this in mind I’m expecting to be struck down with a huge bolt of lightening, because I may have offended Thor quite badly. I put it on Ebay with a product description that made me laugh in a very adolescent, immature kind of way. Sorry Thor, but I bet you really would have looked amazing in tight leather pants you know.
Please feel free to visit the listing to admire my creation and read the item description. I know I shouldn’t laugh at my own jokes, but I can’t help myself.
Just search for ‘Norse Fertility Pendant inspired by Thor’s Other Hammer, Bronze Chainmaille’ on Ebay. Please. You’ll like it. Honest.
I’m going to wear wellington boots for the rest of my life now, if you get struck by lightening you’re ok if you wear them I think?
Here’s a link to my ad: